Man, I miss Hunter S. Thompson at times like this.
Fear and loathing at Rolling Stone : the essential writing of Hunter S. Thompson
@mdhughes thanks for the link. Almost every incompetent president had a great writer with a satirical pen.
Andrew Johnson had Mark Twain.
FDR had HL Mencken.
Nixon had Hunter S Thompson.
Bush had Stephen Colbert.
Trump has... memes?
OCR Output (chars: 4541)
He Was a Crook
June 16, 1994
MEMO FROM THE NATIONAL AFFAIRS DESK
Date: May 1, 1994
From: Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Susyecr: The Death of Richard Nixon: Notes on the Passing of an
‘American Monster . .. He was a liar and a quitter, and he should
have been buried at sea... but he was, after all, the President.
And be cried mightily with a strong voice, saying, Babylon the great is
fallen, is fallen, and is become the habitation of devils, and the hold of
every foul spirit and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird.
Richard Nixon is gone now, and I am poorer for it. He was the real
thing—a political monster straight out of Grendel and a very dangerous
enemy. He could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same
time, He lied to his friends and betrayed the trust of his family. Not even
Gerald Ford, the unhappy ex-president who pardoned Nixon and kept
him out of prison, was immune to the evil fallout. Ford, who believes
strongly in Heaven and Hell, has told more than one of his celebrity
golf partners that “I know I will go to hell, because I pardoned Richard
Thave had my own bloody relationship with Nixon for many years,
but I am not worried about it landing me in hell with him. I have al-
ready been there with that bastard, and I am a better person for it. Nixon
HE WAS ACROOK — 807
had the unique ability to make his enemies seem honorable, and we de-
veloped a keen sense of fraternity. Some of my best friends have hated
Nixon all their lives. My mother hates Nixon, my son hates Nixon, I hate
Nixon, arfd this hatred has brought us together.
Nixon laughed when I told him this. “Don't worry,” he said. “I, too,
am a family man, and we feel the same way about you.”
It was Richard Nixon who got me into politics, and now that he's
gone, I feel lonely. He was a giant in his way. As long as Nixon was
politically alive—and he was, all the way to the end—we could always
be sure of finding the enemy on the Low Road. There was no need to
look anywhere else for the evil bastard. He had the fighting instincts of
a badger trapped by hounds. The badger will roll over on its back and
emit a smell of death, which confuses the dogs and lures them in for the
traditional ripping and tearing action. But it is usually the badger who
does the ripping and tearing. It is a beast that fights best on its back;
rolling under the throat of the enemy and seizing it by the head with all
That was Nixon's style—and if you forgot, he would kill you as a les~
son to the others. Badgers don’t fight fair, Bubba. That's why God made
Nixon was a navy man, and he should have been buried at sea. Many
of his friends were seagoing people: Bebe Rebozo, Robert Vesco,
William F. Buckley Jr, and some of them wanted a fall naval burial.
‘These come in at least two styles, however, and Nixon's immediate
family strongly opposed both of them. In the traditionalist style, the
dead president's body would be wrapped and sewn loosely in canvas sail-
cloth and dumped off the stern of a frigate at least one hundred miles
off the coast and at least one thousand miles south of San Diego, so the
corpse could never wash up on American soil in any recognizable form.
The family opted for cremation until they were advised of the po-
tentially onerous implications of a strictly private, unwitnessed burning
of the body of the man who was, after all, the president of the United
States. Awkward questions might be raised, dark allusions to Hitler and
Rasputin, People would be filing lawsuits to get their hands on the den-
tal charts. Long court battles would be inevitable—some with liberal
Nixon’s spirit will be with us for the rest of our lives—whether you're me
or Bill Clinton or you or Kurt Cobain or Bishop Tutu or Keith Rich-
ards or Amy Fisher or Boris Yeltsin’s daughter or your fiancée’s sixteen-
year-old beer-drunk brother with his braided goatee and his whole life
like a thundercloud out in front of him. This is not a generational thing.
You don't even have to know who Richard Nixon was to be a victim of
his ugly, Nazi spirit.
He has poisoned our water forever. Nixon will be remembered as a
classic case of a smart man shitting in his own nest. But he also shit in
our nests, and that was the crime that history will burn on his memory
like a brand. By disgracing and degrading the presidency of the United
States, by fleeing the White House like a diseased cur, Richard Nixon
broke the heart of the American Dream.
@mdhughes he'd cuss you the fuck out for bringing him back during this.
@djsundog Nah, he loved a fight. He checked out because everything hurt and there was nobody to lash out at worth his time.
@mdhughes Me too.
At the same token, HST was a member of his times. He had his day.
Next question: Who among you is willing to pick up the typewriter?
Pick up the typewriter.
Mastodon x appdot.net = fun? A place for former ADN users - on the whole