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History of Computing, abbreviated:
1958: LISP!
1980: We can program anything in BASIC, and it runs with minor changes on every computer!
1985: We rewrite everything in ASM or C for every computer, so now IBM wins because we're so fucking tired after shipping once.
1995: We could write once, run anywhere in JAVA!
Microsoft: OH FUCK NO.
2010: We can write once, run anywhere in Javascript!
2020: Global warming reaches unsurvivable levels, NOT coincidentally.
2030: Post-apoc savages discover BASIC.

Why hasn't anyone made a Zardoz programming language yet?

@mdhughes 2030: Post-apocalyptic folks read that BASIC is a tokenized language and burn all knowledge, thinking that the tokens are related to a certain web3 technology that also caused the world to burn.

@mdhughes

"I am Zardoz. I have lived three hundred years, and I long to die. But death is no longer possible. I am immortal."

That sounds like a few languages one could name.

@mdhughes how many kids bought this book just because of this cover? 😜😉

@mdhughes that's a surprising amount of underboob for a programming book

@mdhughes

This is a nice format.

Doing it exclusively from memory.

<1950: People doing mathematics
1950: Computers! (but you need to know hardware)
1955: FIRST REALLY OLD LANGUAGES IN ALLCAPS
1960: Everything is IBM. Also computers are still expensive.
1965: Cambrian explosion of programming language paradigms
1970: Unix! We can write OSs in high-level languages!
1980: I wonder what kinds of weirdos would buy computers for their homes
1985: Lots of them, turns out, also the biggest OS companies have just been founded!
1990: What if we plugged this wire in this machine and also over there
1995: The answer: porn.
2000: …and apparently also bad programming languages.
2005: Okay this amount JavaScript isn't *quite* enough, so let's make moar
2010: I SAID MOAR
2015: AND ALSO ON THE SERVER
2020: You 'member neural networks? Yeah, they fly now
2025: Uh oh

@niplav
Okay, js is some seriously cursed horse shit, but let's not forget that we had Macromedia (later Adobe) Flash before that! Lots of it! Everywhere!
@mdhughes

@mdhughes You forgot Fortran. Some day I think there will be Fortran Archeologists with their own shows on the history channel narrated by the ghost of David Attenborough.

"While the rest of the world moved on to C++, Java, Python, the scientists of NASA held on for dear life to Fortran, which secretly still runs 70% of big systems, if you excavate long enough you will find it, like an old spinal column.

@mdhughes Don't you mean... *Microsoft* BASIC?

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