Starting a brand of computers called "Typey boy"

Slogan:

* The computer with less computer in it!
* No more surprises, unless you go on like FB or something, then that one's on you
* Tack-a-tack-a-tack-a (that's the sound you make while typing on a Typey boy)

*Slaps e-ink screen*

"This Typey Boy can fit so many pixels in it!"

(Not that many pixels, like 800x600, tops)

More slogans:

* Your life—in monochrome!!
* Can it do that? No, thank goodness!
* An abacus is probably faster; speed wasn't exactly our priority let's be real

The commercial can be like the "before" part of those infomercials with people trying to do simple things, but being foiled by Computer

More slogans:

* Low (power consumption) and slow (at doing things)
* How much slower? All the way, baby
* It doesn't try to help!
* .txt file-compatible!

@bgcarlisle

Here's one:

* Stuck? Fuck you. Turn it off and on, don't do that again.

@bgcarlisle
* That dimming of the lights every time you plug it in? That's a feature, yo!